Suspicious...

is a favorite word of mine...long and descriptive, a good word.

I am one of those people who get up and check the locks 3 times a night...

and sleeps with a baseball bat (sometimes)... but not because I am paranoid...because I'm suspicious.

I am suspicious of many people, if not everyone...Even in the best of people...I can feel my suspiciousness lurking about them

I keep alot of people at a distance, while at the same time closer than ever...

I have my reasons why.

I am a suspicious person myself...I must admit I like being mysterious...

I lie to people, but everything that I lie about is not a lie, it is the truth...how would anyone ever know what is which....they wouldn't, right? but it wouldn't matter anyway because I only tell the truth. Sometimes you can see subliminalism in things I write...It's not a lie, but it's like I say things, but more indirectly, sometimes you have to be quick to catch it ... but hey, I'd never lie to you. : D

escape

* A spot where WE belong, that's just for us

A place to spend my quiet nights, time to unwind
So much pressure in this life of mine, I cry at times

No one knows my struggle, they only see the trouble

Prayin hard for better days, promise to hold on
...ain't have a choice but to roll on

a spot where WE can kick it
and no one bickers over trick shit

We still visualize places
And in my mind's eye I see this place

I got a spot for us all, so we can ball

Ain't no place I'd rather be
Only place that's right for me

Will I survive all the fights and the darkness?
Trouble sparks, they tell me home is where the heart is, dear departed

They'd rather see us locked in chains, please explain
why they can't stand us, is there a way for me to change?
Or am I just a victim of things I did to maintain?

Is there a spot for us to roll, if you find it
I'll be right behind ya, show me and I'll go

I need a house that's full of love when I need to escape

There has to be a place better than this, in heaven
So right before I sleep, dear God, what I'm askin
Remember this face, save me a place, in thug's mansion *



*excerpts from the song 'Thugs Mansion' by Tupac Shakur

never done a crime I ain't have to do

*Still I see no changes... brotha can we get a little peace?

I got love for my brother but we can never go nowhere
unless we share with each other
We gotta start makin' changes
learn to see me as a brother instead of 2 distant strangers
and that's how it's supposed to be
How can the Devil take a brother if he's close to me?
I'd love to go back to when we played as kids
but things changed, and that's the way it is

I see no changes all I see is racist faces
misplaced hate makes disgrace to races
We under I wonder what it takes to make this
one better place, let's erase the wasted
Take the evil out the people they'll be acting right

and only time we chill is when we kill each other
it takes skill to be real, time to heal each other*

*exerpts from the song 'changes' by Tupac Shakur

I'd like to visit Hawaii sometime...want to come? :)

noite bonita (beautiful night)

the moon has been full and bright out for the last few nights
and theres a shadow in the sky, and it looks like rain ^_^
perhaps I am nothing more than a dreamer
but the world is so beautiful tonight...

Heya hey...

I know that my blog has been quiet for a bit, 'ay? yeah...
well it's been a while since I've seen you,
so how have you been? ^_^ I love you all...

I'll be back later to post more...*don't worry* hehee

I have been just looking thru some of my notebooks
and I have been noticing alot of scrap paper
with my thoughts upon them and I am still amazed
to see all the different sides of me...
most people have never met me in that way... Sephira

I Know You

- just a person trying to do the best you can -
and so am I...even if it takes me a while to get to where I want to be...

People have a tendency to think to themselves that they're the only ones
Going through more things than anyone else
And I have been one of them
Thinking that I'm torn between halos and demons
All these words with cryptic meanings
Separate seasons and all these issues -
Being left with mixed up feelings
And knowing I have to choose...
But I have seen that most people in life go through the same things that you do
Sometimes things look real hard now
But it'll work out somehow
Because it doesn't matter - sometimes we're all the same
And I'll be alright
Perhaps maybe I just think too much...